Punny Business

I had this email sent to me the other day and laughed and laughed and laughed.  Enjoy!!

I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

When chemists die, they barium.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.

PMS jokes aren't funny; period.

Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

We’re going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

Broken pencils are pointless.

I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
All the toilets in New York 's police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.

Velcro — what a rip off!

A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.

Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!

The earthquake in Washington obviously was the government's fault.

Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.

Date Night and Dessert

We won a gift card from the DQ for our participation in the edible book contest for $10! So for a grand total of $7.44, we ate dinner outside and had Dilly Bars for dessert. Here are the messy faces that think mom is the cat's meow right now.

The Boy Finds a Passion

This weeks grateful story….BASEBALL!!!

It’s true. Only probably not what you think. My kiddo Jackson is 11 and has ADHD and a touch of Asperger’s traits. He’s somewhat of a challenge to be around. He’s sincere, loving, very thoughtful at times but kids find him weird. It’s not untypical for this family. These poor kids come from a long line of weird people so the chances of this turning itself around is very small.

Jackson decided he wants to play baseball this summer and the first practice was Saturday AM. HE LOVED IT!!! That child has been practicing in the back yard every single day since it got warm and we experienced this warm and wonderful early spring and I’m please to say it paid off. He had kids on the team compliment him and his ability to hit and field a ball. IN FACT he had 2 boys older than from the neighborhood come over yesterday and ask if he’d play with them. Other than the 2 neighborhood boys (much younger than him) he’s never been asked to play. Ever. 

The boys I believe come from families where it’s fostered the idea of teaching and mentoring kids younger. Set an example by your way. I preach that nonstop to my kids because I think this is a very good habit to get into and eventually because a natural part of a person’s thought process. The Golden Rule applied without another thought first occurring. I believe that’s what these boys did for my boy. Just look at the kid concentrate and focus. I don’t often see focus like this so it’s a MIRACLE!!! At least though my eyes. 

Grateful for those other boys. More than I can say. I’m sure the baseball stories will be plentiful like the veggies this summer so stay tuned.

Join Laura and her peeps at Heavenly Homemakers for Gratituesday and more inspiring stories.

Karen

Lemon Poppy Seed Bread - BIG FAN!!

I have no idea where I got this recipe but I would like to hug it's maker.  It's made with process stuff so if you are looking for a more organic approach, please share when you find it.  The beautify of this recipe is it's cheap, easy and fast.  Here goes:

1 box white cake mis
1 3.4 ounce package lemon pudding
4 eggs
1 c warm water (not sure why it has to be warm; I've never messed with it so I'd say go warm)
1/2 c canola oil (or vegie oil)
4 tsp poppies

Mix well, grease 2 loaf pans, 1/2 batter in one, 1/2 in the other... bake at 350 for 40 minutes.
It's SO GOOD!! My kids eat it for breakfast with a side of fruit.  It's soooo good!!!!  Here's photos of the process if you are visual. 

 The mix.My daughter helped so see....so easy a kid can do it!

 The bred in the pans (cuz you didn't know what that was all about, did you!!)

 The bread with a bite missing b/c it's too good to wait!

The pretty side of the bread.

Homemade Bread - Fan or Flop?? Not sure...

So today is the first time I've ever tried to make homemade yeast bread from scratch.  I got out the old Betty Crocker cookbook and invested 3 hours of my time.  The results??  Not too shabby. I am not jumping up and down and dancing the jig over this bread but it rose as it was supposed to, it baked during the timeframe it was supposed to and it's edible.  I am not sure what I expected but wonder if I got the bread the recipe said it would make.  I was expecting something different. Someting lighter andsmoother....softer. This was a course textured but not too dense bread.  Here are the pictures.  I need to try a challa bread next time. I brought home a loaf of it one time from the Great Harvest Bread Company and WOWIE!! It as go-od. Me and the peeps polished off an entire loaf in one meal!

If you make bread and have a good recipe, please share. I think I have this yeast thing figured out!

Doing the melty butter/milk thang....

 Adding wet to flour/yeast mixture thang....

 First rise.  I wish I could credit the blogspot where I discovered this little gem but I cannot.  Turn on the oven light, put bread mixture and set the timer. It doubled in size.....thang.....

 Result of the first rise...thang....

 After the 2nd rise (on countertop covered by a towel)..thang..
I can't seem to stop once I've started.

There was a rise once the loaves were in the pan, for about 10 minutes before turning on the ove to bake, but you may  not want to see a picture of every little step....thang......

Edible Book

Our lovely little town has so many wonderful features.  One of them is the public Library.  They have good authors in a lot, weird animals and tons of activities for the kids.  Well  one such activity was to create an edible book.  The awards were given to the Most Creative,  Most Appealing, and Weirdest Ingredients.  I'll tell you about our cookie and then you can guess which award we won.

YES WE WON!!!! WOO HOO

Here's the book and the progression of things including the ingredient list.

First we baked ourselves a sugar cookie out on a pizza pan.

Then we frosted it with white frosting, lined the bottom (the dirt) with crushed oreo cookies (take out the middle but don't eat them all...seriously, you will not feel good after having done so. I tried. I'm not proud). We also grated some English Muffin using a hand grater to sprinkle in with our 'dirt' to get it some color variation. 




Top the dirt portion of your cookie with lettuce that's been finely chopped and dry.  It is important to try the lettuce in a paper towel or else it will make your cake a sloppy, wet mess.

I added some redhots to act as lady bugs because as long as they're not living in my house lady bugs are cute.  Add some mushrooms.  Similar to the cover I attempted to position one of the mushrooms into a table where wormy could sit and write, but it still looks like a plain old mushroom.  Moving on.

Color some coconut with some blue food coloring to make a couple of clouds, add your worm (which is not picture here because I did not have a worm. I had gummy bears and sour patch kids but the book is not called 'Diary of a Bear' or 'Diary of a Sour Patch Kid' so you will have to improvise here.  My apologies.




I do not write well with a pen and paper so the frosting was VERY IFFY, but it turned out okay.   My daughter helped me reform some of the letters that got a little gloppy.  Here is the finished product (minus the worm).  Next I'll share with you what the little girl is made out of.  KIDDING. She's  human.  Well, most of the time.

We won ourselves $10 to the local DQ for our efforts.  We won for weirdest ingredients.  We have to put our thinking caps on for next year's contest and strive for  more weird and wild ingredient ideas.  This winning business is pretty fun!

Struggling

I am really struggling this week and I’m not even sure what with. I got a case of the blues I think. Well I don’t think, I KNOW I got the blues. It’s been confirmed because I’m struggling with Gratituesday .

I am having a hard time finding something to be grateful for!! HOW SAD IS THAT!?! I have been thinking on this post since last weeks posting and come up empty. So what is going on you ask…well I can summarize. I need to summarize otherwise it will sound like am seeking pitty party. 

The biggest contributor to my blue-ness was Easter. I know, Easter. I know it’s not starting out very Gratituesday-ey but hang in there with me; I’ll circle back. I planned this elaborate Treasure Hunt for the kid. I had stuff hidden and clues galore and it was an interesting switch form our traditional Easter activities. While we’re working through the hunt my 9 year old daughter keeps making comment about how Mom did this, not the Easter Bunny. Dad did that, not the Easter Bunny. Until yesterday both of my kids believed. I finally pulled my daughter aside and asked her if she thought it would help adjust her attitude if she knew truth? Or would it ruin the image she currently enjoys. She said she wanted to know. I told her. No Easter Bunny, it’s ME! She was fine. She told me my son was also suspicious because they have been having conversations about this all the while. So I go to my son and explain that while we believe in the magic and spirit of Easter the bunny is in fact, not real.

He had no idea.

He was crushed.

Mom was angry.

And any of you who have gone through this probably know that if you take out the Bunny, you also get the tooth fairy and Santa. I spent the next hour getting ready for Easter Service at church and being peppered with questions about this and that (who eats the cookies? Who puts the $ under the pillow??????? And on and on while trying to feed everyone, make sure teeth are brushed, clothes are appropriate, hair is in good shape and consoling a sad 11 year old whose world I just rocked with a ton of truth. I was just sad. I felt defeated. I sat through service feeling the same way. Until Easter Sunday I can honestly say when I it through service it’s the most wonderful time because at one point or another the pastor is going to say something that makes me feel as though God tapped him on the shoulder and said ‘reach out and touch her; say this’ and out it comes. Leaving me with an overwhelming calm, renewed energy and a hunger for more. Yesterday I heard and felt nothing. I prayed on it ‘Please God help me focus. Help me hear’ and nothing. Made me sad, but here’s the bright side and the reason I post on this Gratitudesday:

Thank you GOD for being patient with me. I need it now more than I can express. I am on the pitty pot right now but I will soon get off and find my way back to you again. 

I am grateful He is patient. Join us for Gratituesday at Heavenly Homemakers!